Today's theme is
Where Was I A Year Ago?
Well let's think, this time last year the date was March 27, 2011. I'm not going to take the date literally but focus on the season of Spring. Everything was starting to wake-up from a long winters nap and Mike and I were doing great. I never shared this story on my blog before because I was a bit embarrassed about it, but I will now.
I'm not sure when exactly I threw my fit, it was probably during this month but one night after a bit too much drinking a group of friends, Mike and myself went out to a local "cantina" {I use the word loosely because it's sort of a dive bar, and well, the restaurant share's a name with Chip's internet girlfriend from Napoleon Dynamite}. On the way there I was over come with a huge case of feeling down on myself, and my relationship. Mike and I have always been tight and our bond was strong but being a girl I guess in the back of my mind I sort of felt that after almost 7 years of dating, I was ready to take things to the next level and started to worry that Mike might not ever pop the question. I mean let's face it, I wasn't getting any younger. Call it too much wine, call it being a head case for the evening, or PMS but when we all got out of the DD's vehicle I lost it... There I was, 34 in a parking lot, crying like a high schooler who's boyfriend just dumped her at the roller rink. Mike and I started to talk and I confessed that I was upset that he hadn't proposed to me yet. Ladies n' Gents this is something I SWORE I would never do. I used to read that damn book "The Rules" {note: after a rough relationship I totally ate up every self-help book one can imagine in my early 20's}. In "The Rules" you're not supposed to give ultimatums {hate those by the way}, or call the guy, or ask when you think you'll get married, or be to available, yada, yada, yada. I was breaking all the rules but to be fair I broke the rules in the beginning of the relationship too. {I chased after him first - GASP!} I really think that damn book is sort of hokey but it did help me in my formative dating years to not get played {too much} by guys.
During my epic melt down / snot-fest one of Mike's friends from high school walked by {his band was playing that night} and he shook his head and looked at Mike and said "Sorry man..." and kept walking. My face at that point was red from crying AND from being totally ashamed of behaving like I was. Mike calmed me down and assured me that his intentions were to marry me.
I'll be honest I can't remember all that I said, or what he said to calm me down. It was a low night for me, I had way too much to drink. I am not one to cry in public, or that much for that matter... I was at a breaking point, clearly. We went inside to listen to some music {after I cleaned myself up of course}. And I drank water the rest of the night and felt better about our union. Thankfully the night was not ruined, and neither were we. We were able to get past the speed bump I had made. Something I felt even better about was that while I didn't approach this discussion in the right way, the air was clear and so was my heart. I was able to trust that we were moving forward and not staying in the same place. I know some girls that had married their Mr. Right within in a year, maybe three years but I had waited while dating mine for over 7 years and felt it was time.
Little did I know... what when I had this blow up, Mike was already formulating a plan to propose to me that summer, at the beach, with all my friends in tow. He started hatching the scheme long before my break down and I had no idea. The plans for the elaborate beach vacation fell through, we were still going to the beach in July but a force of nature changed his mind about when and how he would propose....
On April 30th, 2011, after the dust from the huge tornadoes around Alabama and surrounding areas {communities are still rebuilding, 1 year later}, Mike realized he had to hold on to what was precious to him, and instead of waiting until July popped the question in our home town.
I hate how I expressed myself to Mike. We have a policy to be open and talk about our feelings no matter what, and I'm sad I let myself get to the point I did, to express them, but in the end I'm thankful it didn't ruin us, or his intentions that he had all along. We were married 6 months later, and I couldn't be happier.
Moral of the story: Patience is so important in a relationship, if he's worth the wait, be patient. But also, don't hold your feelings inside - don't wait to be eyeball full of Pinot G before you express yourself to your boyfriend in a dive bar parking lot on a Saturday night - and always wear water proof mascara.
3 comments:
Seriously, you are the sweetest! I can't even begin to thank you for all of the kind words you said about me! Thank you!!
& just read your story! Girl, I can relate in so many ways! Hah, I think that I did this on more than one occasion,hah. I'm guilty!
But ya know, I think it only is because we cared. I knew what we were going to get married, the question was when.
Great post, thanks again girl!
Awww, Kell....we women are crazy creatures, aren't we?! I don't think there's any woman who hasn't had too much to drink and started crying in a parking lot. It's good to know he stuck around AND was already planning to propose! He clearly loves you:)
So, I'm sitting here reading this post and get to the end (why, you ask, am I reading a post you wrote in March in June? Because I'm creepy like that) and I am now in tears. Not because I'm sad but because the man and I were just talking about patience not 10 minutes ago. He, like you, lives in Alabama and will be moving out here to be with me. It's so hard being without him but in order to get to the awesome things in life, you have to live through the suck. Thank you for making me happy cry for the second time today (I do that a lot, which, I guess, is better than ugly crying a lot).
xo J
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