May 28, 2010

fixation friday: beer




Todays Fixation Friday is all about BEER. 
As in, I NEED ONE NOW!!!!!

via bing

My all time beer of choice. I'm drooling just looking at this image right now.

I want to drink these 
until I see penguins tonight!!!!

via bing • best. movie. everrrr!
Hotpants knows what I'm talking about!

There really isn't much more to say about this. It's been really, really rough and long {that's what she said} week for me and this would make my nerves feel better and my belly happy, at least on the inside. I hope all you lovelies are gearing up to enjoy your weekend - I hope for you all it's a three day weekend, or more.

While you're grilling, partying and enjoying your weekend, take time to remember the importance of this day - not just for being able to be fashionable in fresh kicks that are bright white but more importantly remember the men and women of the US Armed Forces that have given their lives for our country and our freedoms.

CHEERS EVERYONE! There better be a cold Mich Ultra or at least a few of my new favorite "treat" beers waiting for me at home tonight! {Treat Beer: Full body beer with mucho calories and flavor. I only drink these as a treat not as an all night beer. Why? HELLOOO I have a beer gut that I'm trying to shrink here people, Ah doy!} My new favorite treat beer *points below*





via bing

It's like this beer was meant for me - it has a little canoe on the label AND it's YELLOW just like LEMON - ADORBS! It's SOOO delicious. Mike and I had a mini 1 beer maximum Front Porch Happy Hour last night after he mowed the lawn and this was our beer of choice (read: only beer in the house).

How are you all planning on spending your holiday? And if you're a beer drinker what's your favorite beer of choice, and WHY?

HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND EVERYONE!




UPDATE: I will not be reading anyone's blogs about SATC2 - I don't want any spoilers and I might cut you if you spoil it for me. Seriously, cut you! I don't even watch previews all the way through because I like to be surprised and I haven't bought gossip mags in a while because I don't even want to see pictures. I'm that serious about being floored at the theater. That being said I may get to see my girls this weekend (Monday probably, hopefully, better be!) and I'm so excited I could shit twinkies. I LOVE ME SOME SATC!


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May 27, 2010

my tax return hard at work.

I'm usually very, very careful about how I spend or use my tax return each year. This year was no exception. As some of you may know I've been harping about trying to save money and pay off debt and what not - and this year a large chunk of my return went to just that. The rest I was determined to spend wisely and on something I would not only enjoy for a long time, but also something that would benefit me in the long run.

My first purchase was one I had been putting off for a while. I'm a very skeptical person. I always hope for the best and expect the worst. I know it isn't the best way to go about looking at life but it's helped me out a lot in the past and I am pretty bullheaded and stuck in my ways so I doubt that will change anytime soon. Life isn't all sunshine and roses people - I don't care what Walt Disney wants you to believe. That being said I will be the first to admit I've sat and watched a lot of infomercials in my day. They suck me in. It could be for the most ridiculous items on earth like say The Slap Chop aka "Your Gonna Love My Nuts" or even something as awesome as Bare Minerals. I think I've watched the Bare Minerals commercial a total of at least 6 times. Granted it's usually when I'm suffering from a case of the 'can't fall asleeps' but still, 6 times? Kelly come ON! And yet every time I watch it I say to myself, I need to get some of that. Do I? No, never.

The other night was laying in bed with a case of the 'can't fall asleeps" it was probably the Red Bull I had earlier in the evening while hanging with friends. Here it is 2:00 a.m. and I'm channel flipping like a speed demon trying to make it into an Olympic Event and I stopped on an infomercial for P90X. This wouldn't be the first time I stopped to watch this, it's actually like the third. Want to hear what is really sick? I then found the Insanity informercial on at the same damn time. And I watched them both back and forth for what felt like an hour. Yes, I wasted an hour of my life watching these informercials again for the 2nd/3rd time. *SHAME*

That night I decided I would give it ago. Oddly enough even though I'd watched the infomercial a few times that wasn't what convinced me it was the right thing for me. Like I said I'm skeptical. I don't believe diet pill ads, even though I've consumed many pills in my past hoping they would make me think ASAP. I also don't always believe all the fitness equipment commercials either. Bottom line you can't get thin or healthy just sitting on your butt so if a product claims you can it probably won't work, and if it does, well, it probably won't last forever. That being said I wasn't fully convinced by the people in the commercials for P90X and even more so not convinced by the people in the Insanity commercials. Yes I know it shows them working out but how do I know for a fact those bodies came from these programs, I don't. What I do know is that I have proof from a few real women who have had great results with these programs.

After reading Shandal, Hutch and Keira's progress and results with the P90X systems I knew there had to be some weight to these claims. Even after going to the beachbody.com website and reading success stories I was skeptical.  But I wasn't when I read my fellow bloggers results. None of them are being paid to discuss this (are you ladies?!?!) and they all seem genuinely pleased with the progress they've made so far. I've spoken with each of them and they've all given me their honest options of what has worked for them and what hasn't. Where they may have slacked and hurt their progress and where they truly excelled. This is what convinced me I should give it a shot. I mean have you seen Shan's before and after pictures? They are freaking amazing!

Truth be told between their posts and the money back guarantee I knew I had nothing to loose, minus my beer gut, thigh flab and bingo arms. WIN/WIN RIGHT?

I was never really and athletic person in school. I gave up on organized sports in third grade when I got hit in the face with a basketball an sneezed for 20 minutes straight. I also had a horrible run in with field hockey in middle school during gym class when they made us play and didn't give us shin guards. SMART RIGHT? Needless to say the only form of exercise I got growing up was dance. I took ballet for a few years and other forms of dance and then in my sophomore year of high school I joined the Pom Squad (dance squad). I was even captain my senior year. Which was great - all that running and cardio caused me to have a wicked case of the skinnies and mega awesome leg muscles. Shortly after graduated that dancing after school was replaced by clubbing so I managed to stay fit for quite a few years well into my mid to late 20's. After all that though fitness fell by the way side and my ass has fallen by the wide side.

So here I am, letting you all know (so you can hold me accountable) that I have officially jumped on the P90X bandwagon. I ordered my program and it should be here in a few days. I'm really excited to be able to spend my last weekend before summer as a free woman. No I'm not thinking of P90X as a prison but I'm using this weekend as my last chance effort to get all the "bad food desires" out of my system. Mike and I have started our quest to use less and less prepackaged food in our diet, I hope that will help me in this food struggle I know I'm bound to have. Half of the progress will be cleaning up my way of eating a long with the exercise program so I want to give it 100%, having this final holiday weekend to do that seems like a good idea to me.

Speaking of holiday weekends - Memorial Day weekend plans for Mike and me leads me to my second purchase with my tax return - another thing that will not only help in the fitness department but also the long standing fun department.

Five years ago when I moved here Mike and I purchased our first "summer fun machine". We went in together and purchased a canoe. Our first big purchase together other than Angus, our cat. We have used that canoe faithfully for 5 years, this summer will be my 6th summer in Alabama and we decided to step it up a notch.

On our lunch break yesterday we finished eating early and we decided to head over to the sporting good store to check out all the canoes and kayaks they had on sale. Little did I know just how much that lunch break would cost me. Upon arriving we eyed up all the options outside. They had tons of great deals and the sales girl informed us the sale was only until Saturday. We went inside just to see what else they may have in there and BAM - there they were. 2 Kayaks with our names on them. One in yellow and one in gray. These two fun floaters were on sale for less than $200.00 a piece that is unheard of usually. It was all sort of a blur but I remember Mike saying "I have enough to get one for myself right now, do you?" I said yes and before I knew it the sales girl was asking someone to put our new kayaks in the back room for us to pick-up after work!!!

2 Kayaks, 2 sets of paddles, 2 life jackets and some Sport SPF later here we are rip roaring and ready to take on the creek this Memorial Day Weekend!

My new baby: Potomac Kayak
AKA: LEMON


Yes, as in Liz Lemon...
 
via bing

Mike saw the yellow kayak first and was less than excited. He loved the price, hated the color. Upon walking down the line further on the wall he found a gray one just like it and I swear he got as giddy as a little kid who just met Batman for the first time. Coincidentally if that happened I think Mike would have crapped his pants with excitement and the thought of meeting Batman. Anyhero - I originally thought about going with a name of one of the Beatles for my new Yellow Submarine but then I remembered subs sink... I wanted this puppy to float and what makes you float more on cloud 9 then laughter, right? So there you have it, one woman that makes me laugh is Tina Fey and her character is Liz Lemon, Lemons are Yellow, and I'm obsessed with them and... you get the point! It was either Lemon or Bananas, but Mayra already has the lock down on bananas!

So here is to a summer full of getting healthy, enjoying the great outdoors and eventually fitting into the two, count them TWO... full storage containers of clothing that I have stored in my closet. Items I can't part with and really want to fit into! {Note: I have jeans ranging from sizes 14-10 how sad is that all are in like new condition. I can't wait to save money and go shopping in my own closet! And yes, I'm totally guilty of having items that still have tags on them, items like pants that were too small - thankfully I have less guilt because I do regularly donate to Goodwill like I said these are items I refuse to get rid of.}

If you're still with me thanks for listening/following. And I hope you can deal with me yapping about my P90X journey because it's bound to come up a few times over my course of 90 days and beyond.

"I'm the one that's gonna be on TV, 
lookin' all buff. Beefcake, BEEEEEEFFFCAKKKKE!

via bing

Now I just have to wait for the darn DVDs to get here so I can start. Wish me luck!

What are your plans for Memorial Day Weekend?!

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May 25, 2010

tickled tuesday: the picture says it all


There really isn't much that I could add to this post. Honestly the picture says it all, but you know me I'm never one to shut my pie hole, so here goes! I laughed loud about this when my dad sent it to me. I laughed even more when I realize what must have gone through his head after seeing the picture and remember all the years that I begged my mother and my father for a damn horse.

via email from my Pops

And I didn't just beg for a horse, no, I even went as far as to shove my spring horse (horse on a spring harness support) under our basement steps (unfinished basement) next to the litter box and called it his stable. I then proceeded for two months straight to demonstrate to my parents that I could be a responsible horse owner. I would feed him daily, clean his stall as well as the litter box as needed, it was my first chore after all, and even brushed his lovely (read: plastic) body and hair. His name was Wilbur, I was a bit obsessed with Mr. Ed but thought Mr. Ed was a stupid name for a horse, so Wilbur was the next logical choice for a Nick at Nite obsessed child. Needless to say after the two months of obsessing over Wilbur my parents still wouldn't give in to my pleas. "Kelly, we don't have room for a horse in our yard." they'd tell me and I would quickly reply "We live on 8 acres of land, why can't we knock down some trees and build a barn?" Their opinions and rules always won over mine and that sucked. Wilbur soon was sent away too goodwill when I got too big to ride him or play with him and eventually I got over my whole wanting a horse dream. Not soon after I got over having any pets other than dogs and cats my mom came home with a damn dwarf lop eared rabbit, which she claimed I asked for. I did not, but that is another story for another day.

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May 21, 2010

fixation friday: nautical stripes



It's Fixation Friday again. I realized that last week I didn't do a Fixation Friday - talk about being off my game. Anywhoopsie let's get down to business. One of my current obsessions is that of patterns. When I was younger I was obsessed with polka dots, thankfully that phase ended. I still have a few things in my home that have dots on them but they are far from the bright colored, Debbie Gibson inspired shirts and skirts I had in middle school. Right now all the rage is Nautical Stripes. What I love about this pattern is that it's a classic. I tend to buy clothing items based on how long I will have them in my closet. Classics are always a win/win in my book. When the spring air hits everyone thinks of spring colors but some of my favorites are navy and brown. It's a bit more preppy than my actual style tends to be but at the same time I find myself swooning over outfits and home interior items that reflect this sailor inspired style.

"Yes I am a pirate, 200 years too late."

Not being a rail thin chica I tend to shy away from clothing that has stripes. Horizontal stripes have been known to not be flattering on a torso such as mine. Besides making my boobs look a lot bigger than they actually are {trust me if I had my way I'd rock Kate Hudson's BEFORE chest if I could - boobs are only considered fun bags if you're a man}, stripes also do the same thing to my mid section and I don't need help in that department at all. That being said I don't like vertical stripes at all unless it's on bedding, windows or items other than clothing. They make me think of clown pants and honestly the last thing I want to look like is a clown on my way to the big top for a day of work or play. Then again with my fun bags I might be a great act for the third ring. Hmmm.

So what do you think ladies and gents, are Nautical Stripes a hit in your opinion or what?

Perfect for July 4th • via punkypins

Adorable Wee People Hoodie • via organics for kids

I need a serious case of the skinnies so I can wear this
via • axparis

I really love this classic sweater - great for an evening after being on the beach in the sun all day long. via • google

this so darn adorable I can't stand it • via google


I was so against "summer scarves" for the longest time but I've given in and now I love them. This one is just too cute.  via • liberty


"I'm on a boat!" • via voomonline
This wouldn't have the same umph for me when I ride a canoe, not a yacht.

I wish I knew how to make sailor inspired knots. Oh yeah and had the body to pull this off too that would be a bonus. via • topshop

I think I want to make love to these • Michael Kors Seaport T-Strap Sandals

There is just something about blue and natural tones and being at the beach that make me feel completely at peace.  via • nskwood

Classic style by the always fashionable Audrey Hepburn • via bing

These last two images are Nautical Meets Chevron 
SWOON TIME FOLKS!


TOTES ADORBS!!!! - via • swell
THIS DRESS ABOVE IS A MUST HAVE (FOR ME):
I have pretty much decided that regardless of how in shape I get THIS summer, I'm totally purchasing this adorable dress above from Swell as motivation {No I don't surf but I've always had a crush on surfers and surf style since I hit puberty. Sure, I might be a poser, or a 'Betty' but I can live with that - Monique don't tell your hubby I'm a poser, deal?}. I literally gasped at the sight of this dress when I got the catalog in the mail last week. And I can't stop thinking about it. Fitting into it and looking like a little hottie, or even this model might take me until next summer but if needed it will be worth the effort and wait to do so. It's bananas how much I love this dress. "It will be mine, oh yes, it will be mine!"

Last but not least this image is mixing two of my current favorite patterns Nautical Stripes in an amazing orange tone with Chevron patterned drapes. Literally this image makes my heart sing and I would love to live in this home. I don't think I would ever have the balls (pardon me having a lack of a better word) to do this in my home and it makes me that much more head over heels for it. I love the mix of bright and natural hues and the gold lamp on the wall. LURVE IT!

via • blount design

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May 18, 2010

tickled tuesday: unicorn teeth

A friend of mine sent me this the other day and I couldn't stop laughing. That being said if I was this girl I would totally kill my mom, friend or whom ever posted this on you tube of me. Enjoy and have a Tickled Tuesday Everyone!

CLICK ON THIS LINK: Unicorn After Wisdom Teeth
{YouTube will not allow embedding of this particular video.}




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May 17, 2010

my rainbow in the dark

I woke up this morning in a foul mood, and for no reason. I had an amazing weekend and I couldn't put my finger on this grumpy state I was in... that is until I read the news this morning.

One of my all time favorite metal singers Ronnie James Dio was found dead in his home Sunday. Literally I have a knot in my throat. I'm not handling all my heroes passing well at all. Granted he was 67 years old, but that is how old my father is. I shouldn't get so worked up over a celebrity that I've never met but this man was a rock god and one I will miss more than I can say.

Wendy Dio wrote this on her husband's website:
"Today my heart is broken. Many, Many friends and family were able to say their private goodbyes before he peacefully passed away."

Twisted Sister guitarist, Jay Jay French had this to say about Dio:
"He possessed one of the greatest voices in all of heavy metal and had a heart to match it."

I would have to agree 100% with Jay Jay French.

*** UPDATE INFORMATION BELOW A TRUE TRIBUTE TO DIO***


Rest in peace Dio, you will be missed beyond your wildest imagination.

 Dio via Google - Throwing Horns

UPDATE: For those of you that know who Dio is and enjoy a good laugh. I give to you For Dio: The Only Appropriate Tribute from Cracked.com

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May 13, 2010

romper room

Summer is upon us here in the South. There is no denying this - between the crazy thunder storms complete with tornado warnings/watches/ZOMGs (that ones for you my dear, Aura ox) and the muggy after effects its time to sweat and be miserable. Well, at least most of the time. I've always loved Summer. It will never take the place of Spring or Fall in my heart but Summer was always a great time. It meant no school (until I entered college), trips to the beach and longer days and warm nights to hang out under the stars. Yes, I know all great things, indeed. Summer also often means time to show more skin. This isn't something I've been excited about in the past few years but this post isn't about my own personal body issues, instead I wanted to talk about the latest fashion craze...

The Romper.
via google • huge puffy hearts for SMG and Blake oxox

Don't get me wrong, I don't hate this trend at all. I think these are absolutely adorable and they remind me of outfits my mother used to wear when I was younger. My mom was super stylish and always on the cutting edge of fashion, hair and nails, it was her job to be that hip but I think she also had a passion for it. And I'd never knock Blake or Sarah Michelle (are you kidding, I have a girl crush to the max on SMG). But I just know in my heart of hearts this outfit is NOT for me.

I'm sure I wore these as a child, thanks to my trendy mother. And I'm sure much like the overalls that I wore, this get up drove me nuts. Overalls were the shizz when I was in middle school. I don't know who made them so popular, maybe it was Debbie Gibson, or NKOTB, maybe it was Kid n' Play (I know for a fact Kid n' Play made the one strap connected and the other loose a hip thing - and yes, I rocked it). Seriously, I'm pretty sure every time I wore overalls to school and thought "Girl you look cute!", I later used my new found freedom of cussing when away from my parents and put it to good use. Here's why...

First off there is absolutely NO classy way to go to the bathroom in a romper, jump suit or overalls. You literally have to undress, completely in the romper's case, in a bathroom stall, and hold the top part up as you hover over the can and try not to sprinkle on your gear, your body, your shoes or the seat - no thanks. Secondly, trying to get to this point of pee satisfaction would be a bitch if you really had to go, and it would be extremely annoying and hard. Imagine doing the pee pee dance (or worse the doo doo shuffle, don't stop get it, get it) while trying to get to the bathroom... then you're stuck trying to unbotton your top, or untie it or god forbid there is a zipper in the back, all before blowing your perspective load! YIKES!

Yes, I'm talking about #1 and #2 again - this is what you guys love, so don't even try to front like you don't. (One bit tid bit - I would NEVER wear these when I had my monthly 'pal', I can't even begin to IMAGINE trying to change a tampon all while doing the above listed... fuggetaboutit).

I had the same issue with all the fly gear they were passing off as hot fashion when I was in my early 20's and going out dancing every night. You remember the denim jump suits. Yeah, sure J-Lo looked tight in hers, but again - can you imagine being three sheets to the wind and trying to get out of that gear and hold it up, all the while swaying to the music or to avoid pissing on yourself? Girl, I used to out for 25 cent draft night at a country bar on Wednesdays, those were the days. Do you really think after a tray of 25 cent drafts I'd be in any shape to attempt this? No way, no thanks.

So I'm sure you're asking yourself... "Seriously Kelly? Do you gauge your clothing and fashion style on the bathroom all the time?" Quite frankly, yes. I do. Especially if it's gear I'm wearing out for a night on the town with friends.  Well that and it has to look good on me. You won't catch me trying to rock a half top because I hate my stomach, you also won't catch me trying to wear crazy high heels I can't walk in. If they don't pass the walk test I don't care HOW amazing they look, if I can't walk in them they are of no use to me. Besides, if I can't walk to the bathroom I can't RUN to the bathroom, duh!

So what do you ladies think - for practical reasons are Rompers a DO or a DON'T?  

I'm going with a huge DON'T for me. Like I said - they are SO cute, and how easy is that - one thing and you're dressed. No pants to match with a shirt or vice versa, but still it's one piece. I just don't see them being an option for me unless I can go somewhere and not have to pee for many hours, or I'm having a house party and I could care less about the issue because my potty is clean. 

Maybe I'm just traumatized, have you ever had your overall buckle/loop fall into a toilet full of pee? And had to wear said overalls for the rest of the day? No? Well then you can't understand my pain. 

Thank God piss is sterile.  

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May 09, 2010

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there - both of human babies and fur babies!

Today I remember my own mother who in my eyes and my heart is the best mother God ever gave a child. I miss her dearly everyday but I know she's smiling down on me. I hope I'm making you proud mom - I couldn't be the woman I am today without a mom or role model like you.

Mom & I in Williamsburg - I love her top, she was always SO stylish.

Mom and Me circa the late 1970's

This is my favorite picture of us together. My mother was blonde through most of my childhood this is when she was still keeping it real - although she made a beautiful blonde. I however don't have that luck with light hair. I wish I had more recent images scanned of the two of us, my mom was one hot lady. Full of spunk and comedy. Forget Stiffler's Mom, or Stacy's Mom - my mom was the woman that had it going on! I love you mom and miss you every day!ox

I hope you all take time to appreciate the mothers in your life - be them blood related or otherwise. I have many friends who's parents have adopted me and I'm so thankful for Mike's parents his mother and father have truly made me one of the family and I will be forever grateful for the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th moms in my life.

Give all your mom's a big hug for me and because you love her today!

I've been busy most of today so I haven't had heavy thoughts but instead smiles and not tears, yet. With each day it gets easier but I know it will never be the same. Thankfully she is at peace and I know she's is with the ones she loved and who raised her to be the woman she became and was the day I met her.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL OF YOU OUT THERE, reading your blogs makes me have the small desire to one day procreate a bebe of my own, so thank you! I enjoy your stories, your pictures and all the funny things you share each day. (And yes, FUR babies are apart of this as well).

oxoxo

Update: I wanted to add two more pictures of my mother that I actually did have scanned on my work computer. This first one is my all time favorite image of my mother. She was 19 years old and it was the day she married my father. They were young and both so beautiful/handsome. Their marriage lasted 32 years they had divorced when I was 19. But still the images from this day showed how much they loved each other in that moment.

My Mother on her Wedding Day • She was 19

Lastly this image was taken in 1993/1994. I was a senior in high school and the captain of our schools Pom Pon Squad (dance squad). I had just won third place captain at our competition and our team won third or fourth place (I can't remember). This was a huge deal to all of us since our team never placed at a competition until the year I was captain - yes, I'm tooting my own horn. TOOT! TOOT!

Me and Mom Circa 1993/1994
NO I was a dancer NOT a cheerleader.
Although I did earn the award from my team 
that season for being the Most Spirited! 

Her sweatshirt read my school's name and POMS on the front and the back read KELLY'S MOM. I remember her being so supportive of me and all I did growing up. Our team also won the Spirit award a few times that year. At the competition the school with the loudest and most supportive crowd would win the spirit award for that afternoon. We started to fill the stands with cardboard cut outs of cartoon characters with sayings on them about how great my HS was. It was really cute and took her, myself and my teammates a lot of time to make the banners and the characters. It all paid off in the end we won the Spirit Award at least two times that year. YAY! My mom was so talented and I owe all my artistic ability to her. My father is very organized and does a lot of technical drawing in his line of work and loves landscaping and building - I think I get my interior design and landscape love from him.

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May 07, 2010

fixation friday: vodka


Tonight's fixation is brought to you by the letter V. Sure it stands for creepy ass aliens in a not so new television series but it also starts the beginning of a glorious word that is VODKA! Vodka and I have always had a sorted past. Meaning, we never got along. I can only guess this was because in the past I sipped on cheap ass vodka either stolen from the bottom shelf of a friend's parent's liquor cabinet (my first hang over ever) or it was just something a friend of mine that didn't want to spend a lot of dough but wanted to get blitzed, drank and offered me.

When I moved here, to Alabama, many moons ago (5 years), Mike's good friend Miss. K (also know as Miss A here before) reintroduced me to this crafty liquid. Miss K is known for getting drunk and wanting others to be on her level (I'm used to this, my BFFFFF T from back home is the exact same way, hence why I take on so many buttery nipple shots and or rum and diets in her presence) - Miss K's  way to solve this, hand out vodka shots straight from the bottle. For years I hated this and I would run from her when she got that bottle out of the freezer - now a days I've learned I don't have to take a full shot but I have to take enough to make Miss K happy. You don't understand she will hunt you down and do everything short of hold you down to take a shot of her delicious nectar that is vodka. Lately it hasn't been as bad. She will offer up Svedka vs. Popov.

This is a vast improvement to me. YES she drank Popav the lowest of the low. Basically if I wanted to swig this I could save $10 and drink rubbing alcohol and have just as little flavor with all of the buzz.

As you can see my experience with vodka has been very limited. Remember that bit I spoke of earlier, my first hang over ever? Well I was drinking what I believe was bottom shelf vodka or at least middle shelf. My parents own a beach house when I was younger in North Carolina. When we first started staying there I was in about 8th grade. This evening happened much later, I want to say maybe 10th grade. I was 14/15. My bestie K and I went down there for 2 weeks in June/July and 2 weeks in August. This time we brought our friend S a long for the 2 weeks. I recall that my friend B, (our neighbor at the beach house - his parents owned the unit next door) had two of his guy friends there - perfect math right? That evening B had swiped some vodka from his parent's stash and brought it over to the pool across the street where we would meet to all hang out.

 My mom's vodka of choice back in the day via bing

We proceeded to purchase Very Fine fruit juice from the machine at the pool to mix with said vodka. I remember us mixing the drinks on the back of the public toilet at the pool. HIGH CLASS, WHAT???! Many shots later, and may huge gulps of Very Fine Fruit Juice I felt the effects of Mistress Vodka. And the effects were not good.

I can recall that night being pissed at K. She made out with B, I really liked B but K always got all the boys she was so pretty and the master of flirting. I was shy and was NOT the master of boys or flirting. I remember S trying to make me feel better telling me not to worry that K was acting like a hoochie. This made me laugh the next AM. (Note: Katie and I are still friends to this day we reconnected after a few years of not talking via growing apart/older/marriage/etc - It was better that B and I didn't make out, we spent many summers being pals in NC when our families would be there together).

I remember returning to my beach house, crawling up the steps and making it to the bathroom to evacuate my system. Over, and over, and over again. S held my hair and K tried to help as I swatted her unwanted help away with my hand, face down in the john,  in a drunken manner. Exhibit A:

 
 not actually me - this is a professional drunk actor, but not far from my truth.... via bing

The next AM I remember waking up feeling a bit ill but not worse for wear. Which was great - a hang over with a headache but no spins.  K however was a wreck. S had apparently just watched us get blitzed ...And drank very little... pussy!  I seem to recall this was actually the first night I remember listening to Phish {that's for you ZDub & Lil Bee}but I might have my dates clouded...{B and I and our friends spent a few years drinking in the summer so I get a bit twisted with the meories}

Anyhippie - we woke up the next morning and went down stairs. My mother was cooking breakfast. My stomach was empty so I was famished. So I dug in. S was all for some eggs and I remember K was green. Neon green. My mother knew what was up, she knew a hangover when she spotted one. She started offering us all rotten eggs and three day old milk. She enjoyed seeing K squirm and as a mom I know she was just trying to do her motherly duty, but at the same time getting pleasure in the comedy that was teaching us a lesson. And I love her for it. I never drank that much or got hungover again until maybe I turned 21 legally. This isn't to say I didn't sip on some Purple Passion while reciting Dr. Dre, I totes did that. But I never got drunk again until I turned 21.

301, Cross Colours, Hip Hop, and 5.0 Mustangs Represent - what what? via Google

It had been years after this evening in time that I would ever try vodka. Each time making me feel horrible after a night of dancing with the devil. Sure it was never good, top shelf vodka and maybe it was mixed with 99 bananas (worst liquor ever) along the way but I just always felt I had a safe home with Captain Morgan. I also hated white rum for the record. Where the reports say clear rum/acohol is better for you to avoid a hangover I was the exception to the rule. That is until recently. I have learned that clear liquor could be my friend, yay!

Lately I've been drinking my trademark Club Soda with Vodka and lime. And I love it.
 via google

Last weekend  I found a vodka to take on my current Skyy vodka addiction called 42 Below. It's smooth, I love it and it was on sale at our local ABC Store. This however means I will have a short love affair with this vodka until it's sold out. I bought one of the last three bottles this weekend. I have an odd feeling they won't restock.

Truth be told I want to drink Belvedere because Chelsea makes it sound like heaven but right now I can't imagine buying a bottle. It costs a pretty penny and I think I'd go through it too quickly on a weekend. {I'M A LUSH ON A BUDGET PEOPLE} We shall see, if my 42 Below sells out I'm moving over to the right on the shelf at the ABC Store and checking out that Belvedere for myself.

 In Chelsea We Trust via Google

I will be honest - I'm blogging this about 5 drinks in this evening, nice right? We have been enjoying our front porch Happy HourSSSSS. I decided to switch it up and have a vodka induced ORANGE TGIFRIDAY'S DREAM, instead of my Vodka n' Soda - and I must say it's tasty! It's been hot as balls here in the South for the past few days and it was a great way to relax and kick back and welcome what I hope will be the cold front they called for this weekend. Come on 70 degrees!

So there is my love hate with vodka. For years she hated me, but now that I've switched to top shelf I think we can have an adult relationship. BOW CHICA BOW WOW! Thus far I haven't had a single hang over and I'm going strong waking up well before my usual time on the weekends and I'm more productive. IT'S SHOCKING. Maybe the pirates life wasn't the one for me - sorry Captain Morgan! I still love you sailor n' your P.I.C.* Sailor Jerry but I'm enjoying my run with vodka.

Enjoy your weekend everyone!!! ox


* PIC = Partner in Crime

UPDATE: It's 8:48 am here in Sunny Alabama and I've been up and moving since 8:00 am and I have no hang over. Thank you vodka gods! If only they made a hangover cure that is facing Walmart on a Saturday morning!
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May 02, 2010

summer reading

I finally got my butt over to Target and purchased a copy of Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang. I know it took forever right? Sorry I was slacking - please forgive me Chelsea for I have sinned. Needless to say I just haven't had the extra spending money lately, but that all changed this week.

Of course upon getting to the book section, I snatched up Chelsea's book only to be greeted by this... A new book by another one of my favorite Jewish, Female comedians - Sarah Silverman. Seriously, I love her more than I could even tell you.

via bing

No sooner had I squealed with excitement about this book, Mike was pulling a book off the front shelf and flashing it over to me. ZOMG, are you serious?!?!? I yelled. Then my hands were full with three books. The last being the much anticipated (at least for me)... The Carrie Diaries.

 via bing

I sat in the isle talking to Mike trying to think of a way to put just one of these books down. NO WAY was I dropping Chelea's book I've been wanting it for too long. And I didn't want to drop my girl Sarah. While I was trying to decide between Sarah and Candace I used my free hand to flip over Kate GROSSlin's book - face down because no one wants to look at her, at least I don't. I gave Chuy a shout out from the cover of his new mini book and told him I'd be back for him later, and then I decided with a nudge from Mike to go ahead and buy all three. *Guilty*

Needless to say, it's 10:40 pm here in Alabama and I've already finished Sarah's book and I loved it. It was raining and falling a flood all day today, so it was the best way to spend a lazy Sunday. The book is not as funny as I thought it was going to be initially (I think I was expecting funny stories like Chelsea tells or more of Sarah's comedy, but it was very informative about the woman she was when she was younger and how she became to be the comedy power house she is today. If you love Sarah, you'll love her book. It's a bit more serious but there are definitely jokes through out that made me chuckle and laugh loudly.

I started Chelsea's book earlier this evening and was already laughing through the first chapter well into the third. I had to slow down, it's past my bed time and there is plenty of time to read the rest of these books.

I hope you all had a great weekend!!!

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May 01, 2010

M & K making a house a home

I'm pausing your regularly scheduled weekend for this message from M and K.

First off I'm going to start this post by properly introducing my boyfriend, M. M will now be referred to as Mike, because it's his actual name - so say hello to Mike everyone!

Second, Mike and I spent our Saturday morning as we usually do in our house. Normally, he wakes up early with June, our dog. Let's her outside and quickly realizes that he's wide awake (even at 4:00 am on some mornings) and knows he won't be able to fall back to sleep. I personally don't have this problem, but June wakes him up all. the. time, not me. He in turn will then either turn on TV or his PS3 and hang out waiting for me to wake up while he kills demons, or army dudes, or zombies with his controler. Usually he'll throw a shower in there as well. Needless to say I don't always sleep in that late. Depends on how much fun we had the night before, how much Captain or my new mistress vodka I've had or how well I slept that evening. (read: how much Mike has snored). This morning I got up around 8:00 am and Mike was shocked to see me up. I said well, we went to bed early, 11:30 ish right? He agreed but was still surprised to see me up before 10ish. Of course he had already taken a shower so I knew he'd be ready to rock n' roll to get our errands finished ASAP. So I took my shower, got myself gussied up enough for a trip to Wally World and out the door we went.

On our way we decided to stop and check out our local Co-Op. Mike and I have started to do our part to save money by growing some veggies in our back yard and we were interested in seeing what the local Co-Op had to offer us. As we pulled into the parking lot at the co-op Mike had mentioned he might want to do a blog about our new garden. He has become quite the gardener and has more patience than I do when it comes to these things. I like to help plant but it's the maintenance of it all that always gets me in the end. He's religious about watering the plants each AM before the sun gets too hot and tending to the little beds and pots of goodies we have growing in our back yard. I however would probably kill a cactus given the chance, I'm that bad at remembering. Sometimes I forget to water our children (fur babies). We by no means took a professional approach to this gardening thing this year, but we already have tons of pumpkin vines beginning, herbs, peppers, tomatoes, and he's been able to grow garlic sprouts and is now working on onions too. When he mentioned starting a blog for the garden and various other things we do around the house I told him I had been tossing around the idea of doing a joint blog together for some time. I wanted to write about stuff we did together as a couple and how me made our house a home. Maybe talk about the fun stuff we do each weekend or how we spend our week nights. I know I touch on some of that here, and I don't intend to drop doing that, but at the same time we both have such subject specific blogs between us that this might be a great project to do together on a different blog.

Bottom line - Mike is a much better creative writer than I am. He's full of imagination, and in my opinion I can't always tell the story as well as he does. So in the end you'll get a bit of he said/she said from us both!

If you're interested in check it out you can find us at: m & k: making a house a home

Stop on by we'd love to have you! Keep in mind the blog is in the process of being put together so it's a bit Plain Jane right now. We have big plans and wanted to invite you all to hang out and stay a while. If we could virtually greet you at our page with a hug and a cold beer (or your favorite cocktail) we totally would. Instead we'll have to school you in the ways of economy happy hours, front porch nights and good home cooking!

We hope to see you there!

Now, enjoy your regularly scheduled weekend already in progress!

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