December 19, 2014

christmas lyrics that make NO sense.


Maybe I'm being too literal but often times when listening to classic Christmas music, I take a moment and think to myself... WTF?  Some of the lyrics, while they make perfect sense for the flow of a song, literally make no sense to me, rationally. See below.

"A child, a child, shivers in the cold. 
Let us bring him silver and gold."

Um, he's freezing, the last thing he needs is metallic items that serve no purpose other than to make him feel like a pimp. Save it for Kanye and get that baby another blanket!

via google
Or this nugget...
"He sees you when you're sleeping.
He knows when you're awake."

Talk about a Big Brother moment. Sheesh! I know this song is meant for kids hear, so they are on their best behavior, but lets me real. If Santa can see me when I'm sleeping, that dirty old man can also see me when I'm showering and pooping! Do you know how much that bothered me as a little kid!!!?!?!?  #problems

"What a laugh it would have been. 
If daddy had only seen,
momma kissin' Santa Claus last night!"

Not really totally odd - I mean we know basically, or hopefully, Momma is just kissing her husband dressed up as Santa Claus, and it's sweet because the boy or girl doesn't realize it's daddy.

The other day though a dear blogger pal of mine Lora posted on facebook how the Jackson 5 version of this song always makes her really uncomfortable and nervous. She imagines what might happen to momma if Joe Jackson actually caught her kissing Santa. I couldn't help but laugh but now I think twice about the song every time I hear it. Thanks Lora!!!

"We won't leave until we get some. 
We won't leave until we get some..."

We Wish You A Merry Christmas starts off OK, but then the demands for figgy pudding set in, and they won't leave until they get some? WTF? Get off my porch, quit waking the neighbors you heathens!

"There'll be scary ghost storys, 
and tales of the glories of Christmases long, long ago."

 Mike reminded me that this is probably talking about The Christmas Carol. The classic tale about being visited by 3 Ghosts.  I for one think it's probably true but more literally who the fuck is telling ghost stories around a fire during Christmas. Morbid! Well, honestly, I probably would.


"In the meadow we can build a snowman,
then pretend that he is Parson Brown.

He'll Say: Are you Married?
We'll say: No Man, but you can do the job while
you're in town.

Later on we'll conspire,
As we dream by the fire,
To face unafraid,
The plans that we've made,
walking in a winter wonderland..."

More like realize we're insane, thinking a snowman could marry the two of you. When the ripple wears off, the dude is going to be like... shit, what did I just do??? This bitch is crazy! Or vice versa.

So there you go... crazy people building snowman, ghost stories, freezing babies and carolers with demands. It's nothing like the Christmas season right?

What is your FAVORITE carol? And does it have a strange lyric? Mine is "I'll Be Home For Christmas" and "Little Drummer Boy" they both slay me with welled up eyes EVERY. TIME. I hear them.  Merry Holidays & Happy New Year!!!
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December 12, 2014

Christmas: love and dislike.

It's the hap-happiest season of all... or is it?

90% of the time I will go with YES, it is. Then there is that wee little grinch in my blood that wants to yell... 'Hated it!', in true Blaine Edwards fashion. [If you don't know who that is, google Men on Film In Living Color - I'll wait].

I thought for fun I'd compile my most loved things about Christmas and my most disliked items - because let's be real, I could  never HATE Christmas...

Yes, that's me, many moons ago. I look like my dad.
Remember when my blog was called Dare to be Domestic!?
See below, but yeah, fake beards on Mall Santas are whack!

LOVE IT!
  • The smell of pine needles. [Mike enjoys the smell of pine needles in the vacuum, it's his thing].
  • The smell of scotch tape - I think I've discussed this before but one thing that blew my mind in talking about the holidays with Mike is that he shares the same affinity for the scent of scotch tape, and it immediately makes us both thing of Christmas.
  • Christmas Cookies - although I never seem to leave enough time to bake them and enjoy it without being stressed.
  • Coca Cola cans with Santa on them. LOVE! I think that Coca Cola's rendition of Santa is my absolute favorite.
  • Coca Cola +  and Orange = best snack ever. It reminds me of being a young kid. Every year, as we got off the bus for winter break Mrs. Hobbs would give us an orange and a coke and tell us to have a Merry Christmas. Nostalgia is king in my book!
  • EGG NOG! Mike hates this stuff, just the word NOG alone grosses him out - unless it's heavily spiked with booze, then he'll reconsider. Myself, I prefer it without libations. Straight up.
  • Purchasing coordinating wrapping paper. Mike and I make it a point to get seriously artistic with our wrapping paper choices. We usually purchase about 4 different rolls, all match in color scheme, but not in pattern. This year, it's all about the kraft like paper, with funny sayings and images, and deer and plaid and foxes and nature and - trust me, it's awesome.
  • Going through ornaments to hang them on the tree. While I don't put all my old ornaments up, I do like to take time to think about when I got them all (most are from my childhood), others are ones Mike and I have collected over the years.
  • Christmas cards - Making and receiving. I LOVE getting them in the mail.
  • CHRISTMAS MOVIES!  Christmas Story, Christmas Vacation, Die Hard, Home Alone, Bad Santa, Scrooged, Rudolph and many more are among my favorites!
  • Classic Christmas Songs - I'm not talking like Ms. Carey - ugh I can't stand her Christmas songs, please don't play me any Michael BUBBLE (I know that's not his real name) I can't stand him either. GIVE ME THE OLD STUFF, the CLASSIC GOOD STUFF and if I have to go "modern" I won't go any further than Bruce Springsteen or RUN D.M.C.. No one does Hip-Hop Christmas anymore. PS I might even listen to some NKOTB for nostalgic purposes from time to time. I just don't love newer Christmas music.
  • Shopping for presents. While I do enjoy receiving - I truly enjoy buying gifts for others more. Getting to see friends and family get excited about a gift I picked just for them, makes me feel amazing.
  • Giving back. Giving to charity this time of year - it should be something we think about and do every day of the year, but right now, in this season of all seasons, it feels especially good.
  • Saying HAPPY HOLIDAYS!  I believe that all holidays this time of year are special to everyone for different reasons. Just because I don't say MERRY CHRISTMAS to all, 24/7, this time of year doesn't mean I love Christ any less, it just means that I am completely ok with all the other holidays that are happening all around us as well. PS One of my dear friends in elementary school was Jewish, and I enjoyed every year that we got to not only talk about Christmas but learn about her family's customs as well. I think all children should be fortunate enough to experience things like this, this time of year.  Bottom line if I KNOW you celebrate Christmas, I will say "Merry Christmas!" if I am unsure, you'll get a smile and "Happy Holidays!" 
  • Christmas Lights. I love driving around seeing everyone's lights, helping put them all over the house, and the great feeling it gives me. Warm fuzzies!
  • Christmas Dinner. Not to be upstaged by Thanksgiving, because it's just as delicious. This year Mike and I will be making dinner for my father and we're both pretty excited.
  • Remembering what it was like to sneak downstairs before my parents on Christmas day to see my bounty before waking them.
  • Christmas Window displays at stores.
  • AMAZON.COM best damn thing ever! (next to buying local of course).
  • Pinterest - Mike and I use the website exclusively to make our wish lists to each other.
  • Santa hats for dogs and cats!
  • CANDY CANES!
  • I'll Be Home For The Holidays! This song always slays me, I well up, and cry whenever I hear it. This year I can sing it, and be 100% right, because I will be home for the holidays. And it makes me SO excited!
DISLIKE IT!
  • Baking cookies when I'm stressed.
  • Christmas before Thanksgiving. I get it, you're excited, but I, personally, literally "can't even..." until I've had Thanksgiving dinner, turkey coma and relaxed. I don't decorate, I don't sing songs, I don't listen to music and I most certainly don't watch movies. It's simply not my thing. To each his/her own, but you won't catch me doing it.
  • Black Friday - I might change my tune when I have a kid. And I want to get the best deal on whatever their little hearts desire. I just don't have the want, or need to get out on Black Friday and shop. Thanksgiving eve - FORGETABOUTIT! Cyber Monday - you're my BFF and I love you.
  • Fruit Cake. Seriously wtf!?
  • Newer Christmas Music - NO M. Carey, BUBBLE, or Lady Gaga please and thank you!
  • The fact that all too often Christmas becomes about THE GIFTS instead of the true meaning of the season.
  • Mall Santas - that don't even have a real beard. Come ON - you gotta really sell this to kids these days with all the HD and WIFI... when did I become Drunk Uncle?

Middle road: that damn Elf on the Shelf. I think it's great, but also very annoying. I give full kudos to all parents who keep track of that little booger and keep him accountable for the kids. I am sure one day I will be that parent but for now I am content to just look at the photos, and laugh and wonder where you find all your amazing energy!!!

All in all this isn't too bad and just what came to mind quickly. More positive than negative. That's always a bonus in my book.

So tell me, what list did you make it on this year??? Santa's good list, or bad list?
If you don't celebrate Christmas - what do you love MOST about your celebrations?? I'd love to hear!


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December 10, 2014

an evening with weezer. 12.6.2014

As you can guess from the title of the blog, I went to yet another concert this year. Mike and I are on a roll. The kicker to this concert was that it was a total surprise for me. I had NO CLUE they were coming to Atlanta (way to keep up with your 2nd favorite band Kelly), and Mike secretly purchased tickets for us, and reserved a room at a quaint little in located in the Highlands area of Atlanta (read: the really HIPster part of town!)  When I opened his gifts on my birthday (12/1/2014) I was so shocked, and excited and floored!!!

We headed out of town on Saturday morning - arriving in ATL just in time to check into the awesome little Highland Inn and get our room. The best I can describe the place is that it's much like a boutique hotel, or almost like a bed and breakfast with your own private bathroom. And without all that awkward bed and breakfast feel (If you watch Gilmore Girls you get what I mean).

We didn't waste anytime, we checked into our room, dropped off our bags and headed out into the street. We had about 20 minutes until the SEC Championship game started! We walked quickly down to the local pub, Manuel's. It was literally less than 2 blocks from our hotel. We settled into a booth close to the bar TV and prepared ourselves for the big game. We shared sandwiches and beers and cheered and chatted during the entire game. Those of you that realize, we were in "DAWG" territory, so I'm sure most of the patrons were cheering for Missouri to whoop our asses, sadly for them, happily for us, that didn't happen. It was a hell of a game, and thankfully we had one more Bama fan in the room with us. Air fives were exchanged, a lot that afternoon!  We celebrated Bama's victory (RAMMER JAMMER YELLOW HAMMER GIVE 'EM HELL ALABAMA!), gave a hearty ROLL TIDE, finished off our beers and headed back to the hotel, in time to freshen up, and hop in the Jeep and head downtown.

Can I just tell you how much I love Google Maps and directions given through your phone!!! I always scoffed at the idea, but now I'm like WE NEED THAT! It's great for last minute choices to go to dinner, or just to find out where the hell you are.

The ride to the Tabernacle in downtown ATL was a short and pleasant drive. And we scored a parking spot RIGHT outside the venue. Perfect!

This venue, is awesome. If you ever get a chance to see an act there go. It's standing room only, and mostly general admission, minus the balcony upstairs, but it's amazing!!!

I thought I'd give you a recap of the show, but instead of my normal run down, I will share with you the email I sent to my bestie J, all about the show. He and I went to many a weezer show together ages ago. Mike and I made sure to text during the show to share some of it with him.

EMAIL TO BESTIE J: 
[This hasn't been edited, so I might ramble, but pretend it was an email I sent to you!]
Items in RED I added for you!

DUDE!
So the show was legit awesome.

We went to ATL's Tabernacle - small venue, much like 9:30 club, maybe a bit wider. It used to be a church years ago, I believe, so it has the really nice balcony up top, and the back drop for the stage is a HUGE set of pipes for an organ. (Covered mostly by Weezer's back drop).

When you walk in there is a whole down stairs for the merch, and bathrooms and bars, then in the main hall there are three bars (only one was open) - I had 1 beer... at the price of $10.00 HOLY EFF... so yeah, I was like pass - I figured I'd only want water after it started anyway. I was not impressed by the t-shirts. None were special to the show, and all are available on the website so I passed on getting anything - I did the same thing when they played Music Midtown. I didn't LOVE any of the shirts, and none were specific to the tour or the date.

We got to the place, not really late, but most people had already filtered into the front of the stage so we hung back - I feared I'd have to pee and didn't want to fight to get to the front again - like I said in my text I had two total douches behind me that talked the entire effing time!

While in line outside there were a few people behind us talking and one was like... "I hope they play their old stuff, like Island in the Sun!" and I thought... here it is my 38th birthday.. KILL ME NOW if you think that's the "OLD STUFF". [FYI Weezer has been together since the early 90's, nothing released with a 00, 01, 02 etc is old stuff kids!!!]  Needless to say, I turned to Mike before it started and I said my only expectation or hope is that they will play at least 3 Pinkerton songs.... AND maybe do Only In Dreams to close out the show with confetti.

When the show started I got really giddy when I saw some bit of confetti falling by accident from the ceiling... EEEE! Sadly it wasn't for Only In Dreams - I think that was a once in a lifetime thing [Wish I could remember the year we went to that show, but the Final song being Only In Dreams, with the ceiling raining down confetti after the biggest part of the song, was pretty awesome].

The only other disappointment - this is the 2nd show that they haven't used the Light up W at all. *sad*

NOT SURE WHY THIS IS GONE FROM THE SHOW, IT'S NEEDED!
via • Charm City Baltimore Music Festival
The whole show was really really awesome. Like I said [in my text] the first whole set was just acoustic instruments - single drum, keyboard a bit (not really acoustic) and guitars.

The set began, the first song was ONLY Rivers. 2nd Song it was Rivers and Brian, 3rd Song Rivers, Brian and Scott, 4th Song Rivers, Brian, Scott and Pat - then the rest of the first set was all of them together. You could tell that quite a few of the fans were like WTF? While I was like THIS IS FREAKING AWESOME!!!! Then again this was my what? Maybe 5th time seeing them live? How many times did we see them together? Plus Music Midtown for me + this show? Music Midtown was great, they slayed it in the pouring ass rain, I feared Rivers would get electrocuted because he just didn't care about the weather... they did a great set of greatest hits to make everyone happy from day 1 until the current album.

So yeah... total acoustic set - and I got my 3 Pinkerton songs, + the B Side to El Scorcho (first song in the set). PLUS December which he said they haven't played live since 2002 - which honestly Maladroit is honestly one of my favorite albums. I know it was one that most fans really were meh about but the more I listen to it then more I loved it.

Acoustic Set Via My Instagram
The Acoustic was a great,  a little bit from each album but I was happy the Pinkerton was so heavy, maybe that was due to it being an acoustic set but even the fast pace "tired of sex" and "good life" were awesome.

The lights went down - they dropped the plain black back drop curtain - and all came out in different gear - Rivers was in a "boat captain / sea navy looking suit" All the people setting the stage were in lab coats... the lights came up and you saw the back drop being the new album cover and BAM they went right into the new album song 1 thru the end - it was awesome!

Everything Will Be Alright In The End Set Via My Instagram

I can understand some fans being miffed about it - but honestly ... if I had been touring and playing for over 20+ years I'd want to play new shit too! Pearl Jam does the same thing... very heavy on new material, but I sort of like that. If it was years ago I might be upset but honestly I love the new album so getting to hear it start to finish was awesome. The confetti came during the ending of Either Foolish Father or Wasteland I can't remember. Not ONLY IN DREAMS awesome but still so fun.

They also dropped balloons out in the audience during the 1st or 2nd song of the set. They closed the night out with Surfwax America and it was great!!! I was smiling from ear to ear, and Mike was super excited that I was so excited. I think he literally told me "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" about 10 times, and I laughed and smiled bigger EVERY time.

It was as TON of fun. I wouldn't doubt if they do more touring this winter / spring for the album. This was clearly a small venue, and it was a small show... only went from like 9 pm - 11 pm (when we saw Pearl Jam it was 8 - 11:30 ONLY pearl jam. There was no opener for Weezer and I see that most of their other dates were music festivals - short sets. And this one was for a Radio show in ATL. I noticed that Foo Fighters are doing a TON of small pop up shows like the one in DC and the one in Nashville that sell out in no time flat. I think they are all trying to not only get back to their roots but also trying to drum up excitement about the new albums which I think is great.

-Kelly

********

OFFICIAL SET LIST: WEEZER • ATL • 12/06/2014

Acoustic SET
You Gave Your Love to Me Softly
Why Bother?
King
El Scorcho
December (First performance since 2002)
The Good Life
Island in the Sun
No One Else
Buddy Holly

NEW ALBUM SET:
Everything Will Be Alright in the End
Ain't Got Nobody
Back to the Shack
Eulogy for a Rock Band
Lonely Girl
I've Had It Up to Here
The British Are Coming
Da Vinci
Go Away (with Anna Kramer)
Cleopatra
Foolish Father
The Waste Land
Anonymous
Return to Ithaka

Encore: Surf Wax America

I had an amazing time in ATL with Mike, for my birthday and with Weezer. Mike you've really outdid yourself this time... I guess I better start planning our birthday weekend 2015!!!! Thank you again, love you babe!

*** For a quick video visit my instagram: instagram.com/turnedup2eleven/
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