I know we've all been here... I don't know if rut is the right word or if it's just the best one right now. I'm not feeling negative, just like I'm standing still. The holidays are over, and the resolutions and goals have been made. Progress is taking place but since it's so slow it's hard to get overly excited. I have started to knock a few of my goals off my list in the week since I made it so that is progress. I have to remember to update that on my Project 52 page.
That being said, I still feel a bit rut like. Every day it's the same thing. Schedule after schedule. Day after day. Monday - Friday it all stays the same. Wake-up, take a shower, put in my contacts, moisturize my face, brush my teeth, brush my hair, do my hair, do my make-up, wake up Mike if he is still sleeping, take turns feeding the pets, letting the dog outside, let the dog inside, try to find something to wear, get dressed, fixing my usual morning protein shake, say good-bye to the pets, drop Mike off at work, drive to my office and put in a full day at my desk. Not much changes, most things stay the same. Everyday at 5:00 pm I clock out, drive to get Mike, we drive home, unless it's Wednesday, that's payday and we are forced to run to the grocery store [aka Wally World Hell] to get supplies for meals and anything else we need. Once home it's the same song and dance there are always dirty dishes that need to be cleaned, a full dishwasher that needs to be emptied - how the hell do two people make so many dirty freaking dishes? It's mind boggling! If the dishes aren't dirty and the kitchen is actually clean, there's usually a huge pile of clothing that needs to be washed, again I ask how do two people always make at least three loads of laundry per week? We don't have children - I don't know how the hell you full time working moms and dads do it. I applaud you. Some nights I take time to sit down, relax, it's rare, and will be even more rare starting next week - I plan on doing my second trial of P90X and I always workout right after returning home. This may help my rut feeling, since it's something different in the routine of our lives.
After "chores" We make dinner, we eat dinner, we watch a few of our favorite shows, and by 10:30 pm I'm hopefully in bed and sleeping after watching Chelsea Lately... every.... single... night. The only time we deter from this seamless routine is if we have something to do with his family, or when the weekend comes. I look forward to Saturday mornings, to sleep in, to not have to leap out of bed and shower, get ready or be forced into a time table but lately, Saturday mornings don't seem like enough.
My entire life feels routine. Even walking into the office each morning I do the same things, in the same order, to open the shop. Turn on all the computers, the lights, the darkroom, make the coffee, answer the phone if it rings and check my email. It rarely changes - if I'm late for work, people here worry that the worst has happened. An accident, or something of that nature. I'm rarely ever late, I'm usually early. I'm dependable, but at the same time that might make me a bit predictable and at risk of saying it, boring.
Like I said I am not negative about my life, but something in me is feeling like I need to break the cycle even just a little bit. Do many of you stop and feel like you've been living on auto pilot? Lately I feel like someone else is at the wheel and I'm just floating through my responsibilities like a mindless zombie. I'm not sure if this is just what adulthood is all about or if I really do need to shake it up a bit.
Do any of you feel this way? Have similar feelings? And if so what are you doing to switch it up in your life? Maybe we can all help each other.
All this being said - I tend to like to get to bed early, I hate being run down the next day for work, but I also realize I'm only 34, not 84 and it's time to probably stop treating my life like an Early Bird Special and just do something different for a change.
Do you feel stuck in the rat race of life?
[note: this is probably just PMS talking for me, but even if it is I figured I'd get it all out and see what you all have to say... floor is all yours]