So far planning has been a breeze and I plan on sharing all of this information on Wednesdays here at the blog. My own version of Wedding Wednesday. Thanks to Mike being so good at putting stuff together he's really taken the reins and handled the bulk of our phone calls, and arrangements that have needed to be made. I will share more of that tomorrow. Today I'm going to talk about my nightmare wedding.
First of there shouldn't be any anxiety for me right now with all of Mike's help but I guess in the back of my mind there is a nagging voice saying... "Kelly, your wedding is only about 5 months away!!!" So since that nagging voice is there, I guess my brain is freaking out. I have done the whole deal of falling asleep thinking about wedding plans and things that are on my to-do list, which is never healthy.
So last night I drifted off rather well. And slept great. Half way through the night I woke up, visited the restroom and then went right back to sleep and that is when it happened.... the nightmare kicked in.
My Nightmare Wedding
Don't say it could be worse... please!
It was our wedding day. Only the location wasn't the nice wilderness resort we are actually having our wedding at. Instead it felt more like a subway train station meets tacky casino. In the dream I seemed okay with this choice, [which is F-ed fo' sho] but very frazzled about every detail. I remember my shoes being something I was disappointed in [this probably stems from the fact that I'm more concerned about finding cool shoes for my big day than I am about the dress, yes I'm strange]. My dress fit well, and my girls all seemed pleased with the absolutely hideous dresses they picked out for themselves. [Most of my bridesmaids are coming in from my hometown or from the other side of the US, only one is a local bridesmaid so I won't be able to be there when they pick out their dresses. I have full confidence that they will do a great job in picking nice dresses, I think my fear lies that my "shade of green" won't be communicated properly, even after sending my care package OR the dress shops won't carry the color I have in my vision. Green isn't just green... damn I sound like Shelby in Steel Magnolias now... piss!]
Like I said all my girls were pleased with their dresses, I wasn't sold on them but let it go, it was the big wedding day after all and It was about me and Mike. I remember going to touch up my make-up and when I looked in the mirror I was shocked. I looked like Dee Snyder had done my hair and make-up in cahoots with a Bratz doll! It was super kinky curly and three different shades of pink and red. WTF?!
Seriously... I looked like this, even the make-up is a close match just add more Hot Pink, Red and Purple streaks to my frizzy curled hair.
[I'm going to guess this hair issue and make-up stems from anxiety about getting my hair cut this month and the fear of making sure my hairstylist will be available for my big day and a good make-up artist.]
All the girls and guys finally get ready for the big ceremony... but wait... we are in the hall entering the Casino-esque area and there are guests still filtering in to sit down. Mike and I are hidden from each other but I can hear his groomsmen on the other side of the hall... yep, they are all plastered. Just F-ing great! Then it hits me, I started to freak out again... we never told the people what to play for us to walk down the isle to... and then music starts. I can't recall what it was but I was pissed that it sucked and freaking out. If this dream is hell my guess is it was probably Nicklecrap because I was LIVID! Then I realized half my girls weren't there to walk out... AND my father was missing. The Wedding Coordinator signals me to walk down the isle and I yell to her, "MY DAD ISN'T HERE!" She bluntly says "Tough Shit, show must go on!" and shoves me down the isle. Not only am I walking down the isle but all the late guests are in my way, they are all in sloppy clothing and no one is watching this special moment and I'm miserable. I trip a few times on the runner which is also hot pink, what the crap? And then I start to sob. Not happy emotional tears but "HOLY SHIT THIS IS A TRAIN WRECK" TEARS! I get to the end and it's something out of The Hangover! Most of the guys that made it are all lined up and swaying, covered in dirt and what I believe is vomit, Mike is there, his eye is black and he smells like Whiskey and a cold cut sandwich. He smiles to me and it makes me feel a little better, but I still realize this wedding is a total hot mess. As I glance down the isle there is my Maid of Honor and my father walking down the isle together waving to everyone like they are Miss America and Mr. Universe and then I woke up... WTF?!
Needless to say I am sure most of this is due to some details being up in the air at the moment. I have to say for having a wedding in less than 6 months and only being engaged for almost 1 month we've gotten really far with planning. More on that tomorrow!
So tell me... did you ever have anxiety dreams as a bride or groom? If so please share!