March 13, 2014

Things you can't unlearn.

parents photo parents_zps5915b5c3.gif

OK, here's the situation
My parents went away for a weeks vacation and
They left the keys to the brand new Porsche
Will they mind? Mmm well of course not.

I'll just take it for a little spin and maybe show it off to a couple of friends
I'll just cruise around the neighborhood,
Well maybe I shouldn't,
Yeah of course I should.

Pay attention here's the thick of the plot
I pulled up to the corner on the end of my block
Just when I saw this beautiful girlie girl walking
I picked up my car phone to perpetrate like I was talking

You should have seen this girls bodily dimensions
I honked my horn just to get her attention
She "Was that for me?"
I said "Yeah!"
She said "Why?"
I said Come on and take ride with a hell of a guy

She said "How do I know you're not sick, you could be some deranged lunatic."
I said "Come on toots my name is the Prince besides, would a lunatic have a Porsche like this?"

She agreed and we were on our way
She was looking very good so as I must say - WORD!
We hit McDonlad's pulled into the drive we ordered 2 Big Macs, 2 Large Fries with Cokes

She kicked her shoes off on to the floor she said "Drive fast speed turns me on!"
She put her hand on my knee, I put my foot on the gas
We almost got whiplash we took off so fast.

The sun roof was open the music was high
and this girls hand was steadily moving up my thigh
She had opened up three buttons on her shirt so far
I guess that's why I didn't notice that police car.

We're doing 90 in my mom's new Porsche and to make this long story short, short
When the cops pulled me over I was scared as hell I said...
"I don't have a license but I drive very well officer!"

I almost had a heart attack that day
Come to find that the girl was a 12 year old run away
I was arrested, the car was impounded
There was no way for me to avoid being grounded

My parents had to come off of vacation and get me
I'd rather be in jail than to have my father hit me
They came in and I got my grip I said...
"Mom! Dad! How was your trip!"

They didn't speak I said "I wanna plead my case!"
But my father just shoved me in the car by my face
It was a hard ride home, I don't know how I survived
They took turns one would beat me while the other was driving

I can't believe I just made a mistake
Well, parents are the same no matter time nor place
So to you other kids all across the land
Take it from me Parents Just Don't Understand....

---
Can we just discuss that I didn't look this up, and I typed this freehand word for word. How the HELL is that I can remember all of this information from The Fresh Prince and DJ Jazzy Jeff but I can't for the life of me remember important dates in American History???

I could literally rap the entire song, add to that Summertime - forget it I can rap that too. My mother always said that she wished all my studies in school were rap songs because I'd get straight A's. And it's true.

Seriously folks, how is it that I can free style type all of this, and I haven't heard the song in AGES and still remember it, but I can't remember simple items on a grocery list?

That being said - I always loved this song because my parents both owned Porsche's when I was growing up. (Not bragging, my father busted his ass, and my momma did too, in order to afford the nice things they wanted in life). I always had this little mini dream of sneaking a drive in them when they were out of town, but thanks to Will Smith and his rap, I learned a valuable lesson and I never got arrested, wrecked my parents cards or picked up 12 year old runaways - Hell I never even sat behind the wheel in either of those vehicles.

"THE MORE YOU KNOW!"

There was no real point to this - only that I had it in my head, wanted to get it out and wanted to see how much of this I remembered without looking it up. I'm totally impressed with myself, and yet still disappointed that I forgot to purchase croutons at the store. Lame!

P.S. How is it that his momma takes him to go shopping for school clothing at what seems to be a thrift store, but her ass just bought a brand new Porsche and went on vacation??
Pin It!

4 comments:

Misty, Handbags + Handguns said...

HAHAHA!

Knowing old school rap lyrics word for word means you're awesome.

Karen M. Peterson said...

A thrift store? I always thought they were at Sears or JC Penney or something.

Christina said...

I am the same exact way. I think teachers should teach us in rhyme. Although I probably haven't heard it in 15 years, I know every word to The Neden Game by ICP. Hahaha! I find myself singing it randomly. I have to watch myself in front of the kids! Ha!

Janna Renee said...

I don't actually recognize this song...I do think it's funny how we can memorize lyrics and movie quotes, but not the important stuff!!

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